dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
