At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
