you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
