Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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