JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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