I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
