You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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