"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
