I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
