I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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