I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dicks are not precious.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
