My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
