I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Shame is for Republicans.
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