i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
