went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Damn victory sex feels great
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
