i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
