plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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