i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
