Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
