i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
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Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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