white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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