Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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