Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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