He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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