she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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