No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize