it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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