..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
