So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize