pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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