I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
