Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found puke in my bra..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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