spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize