at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
