You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
