How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
