Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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