He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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