none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
