i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You are a genius and a whore.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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