i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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