I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize