So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
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I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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