just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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