i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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