Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
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I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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