i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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