I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
