Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
