Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
