Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
This is not my ceiling
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
