you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
zippers are such a cool invention
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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