I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
