for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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