why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
