took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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