So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
