The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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