DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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