Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
