He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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