I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
