That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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