he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Acid is not a monday night drug
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
